Age Jokes 2

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Forthcoming Marriage

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore.  Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you the owner?" 
The pharmacist answers, "Yes." 
Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" 
Pharmacist: "Of course we do." 
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" 
Pharmacist: "All kinds." 
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?" 
Pharmacist: "Definitely." 
Jacob: "How about Viagra?" 
Pharmacist: "Of course." 
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?" 
Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." 
Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?" 
Pharmacist: "Absolutely." 
Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?" 
Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob says to the pharmacist:

"Great! We'd like to use this store as our 'Bridal Registry."


This is supposedly a true story (from the Internet).

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad!

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and then drove to the police station.

The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, gray hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.