Antics With Semantics
Sometimes what we thought were strengths in a prospective mate later turn into liabilities. This little piece is adapted from something written by Sydney J. Harris:
Antics with Semantics
He married her because she seemed so pretty and petite; he
divorced her because she was so weak and helpless.
She married him because he was such a strong personality;
she divorced him because he was so domineering.
He married her because "she reminds me of my mother"; he
divorced her because "she reminds me of her mother."
She married him because he was so ambitious; he was "going
someplace"; she divorced him because he became a "work-a-holic."
He married her because "we were childhood sweethearts" he
divorced her because she "never grew up."
She married him because he was fun and romantic; she divorced
him because he was shiftless and lazy.
He married her because she was "steady and sensible"; he
divorced her because she was "dull and boring."
She married him because he was "sweet and attentive"; she
divorced him because he was so possessive.
He married her because she was "such a beauty"; he divorced
her because "all she thinks about is her looks."
She married him because he was so "intelligent and witty"; she
divorced him because he was so "critical and wisecracking."
He married her because "we have such a great sexual attraction
for each other"; he divorced her because "we have nothing in common anymore."
She married him because he was "the life of the party"; she
divorced him because "he thinks life is just a party."
He married her because "she's so neat and clean"; he divorced
her because "she thinks more of the furniture than she does me."
She married him because "we had such great talks together";
she divorced him because he's never home to talk anymore.
He married her because she had "such a gentle nature"; he
divorced her because "she won't discipline the children."
She married him because "he swept me off my feet"; she
divorced him because "he knocked me off my feet."
He married her because "she was so crazy about me"; he
divorced her because she was so "insanely jealous."
She married him because he was the captain of the football
team; she divorced him because she was a "football widow."
He married her because she was good with children; he
divorced her because the children came before him.
She married him for his frugality and creative dating; she
divorced him because he was such a tightwad!
From the Book: Strengthening your Marriage and Family, Douglas Brinley. p. 103: