Antics With Semantics

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Douglas Brinley

Sometimes what we thought were strengths in a prospective mate later turn into liabilities.  This little piece is adapted from something written by Sydney J. Harris: 
       Antics with Semanticsmarriage

He married her because she seemed so pretty and petite; he 
divorced her because she was so weak and helpless.

She married him because he was such a strong personality; 
she divorced him because he was so domineering.

He married her because "she reminds me of my mother"; he 
divorced her because "she reminds me of her mother."

She married him because he was so ambitious; he was "going 
someplace"; she divorced him because he became a "work-a-holic."

He married her because "we were childhood sweethearts" he 
divorced her because she "never grew up."

She married him because he was fun and romantic; she divorced 
him because he was shiftless and lazy.

He married her because she was "steady and sensible"; he 
divorced her because she was "dull and boring."

She married him because he was "sweet and attentive"; she 
divorced him because he was so possessive.

He married her because she was "such a beauty"; he divorced 
her because "all she thinks about is her looks."

She married him because he was so "intelligent and witty"; she 
divorced him because he was so "critical and  wisecracking."

He married her because "we have such a great sexual attraction 
for each other"; he divorced her because "we have nothing in common anymore."

She married him because he was "the life of the party"; she 
divorced him because "he thinks life is just a party."

He married her because "she's so neat and clean"; he divorced 
her because "she thinks more of the furniture than she does me."

She married him because "we had such great talks together"; 
she divorced him because he's never home to talk anymore.

He married her because she had "such a gentle nature"; he 
divorced her because "she won't discipline the children."

She married him because "he swept me off my feet"; she 
divorced him because "he knocked me off my feet."

He married her because "she was so crazy about me"; he 
divorced her because she was so "insanely jealous."

She married him because he was the captain of the football 
team; she divorced him because she was a "football widow."

He married her because she was good with children; he 
divorced her because the children came before him.

She married him for his frugality and creative dating; she 
divorced him because he was such a tightwad!

From the Book:  Strengthening your Marriage and Family, Douglas Brinley.  p. 103: