Line of Authority

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Author Unknown

Line of Authority

Mission President:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water.
Talks with God.

Assistants to the President (AP's):
Leaps short buildings in a single bound.
Is more powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm.
Talks to God.

Zone Leaders:
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds.
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine.
Is almost as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool.
Talks with God if special request is approved.

District Leaders:
Barely clears a quonset hut.
Loses tug of war with a locomotive.
Can fire a speeding bullet.
Swims well.
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Senior Companions:
Makes marks high on a wall when trying to clear short buildings.
Is run over by a locomotive.
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting Self-injury.
Dog paddles.
Talks to animals.

Junior Companions:
Runs into buildings.
Recognizes locomotives two times out of three.
Is not issued any ammunition.
Can stay afloat with a life jacket.
Talks to walls, argues with self.

Greenies:
Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings.
Says "Look at the choo-choo,"
Wets self with water pistol.
Plays in mud puddles.
Loses arguments with self.

Sister Missionaries:
Lifts buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
KNOWS God.