What Can I Do to be Happy?
As she now laid on her deathbed, Alan thought about the great courage his mother had shown even though she had been bedridden and in constant pain for the last 10 to 15 years.
His mother's back had been broken in several places, and, because of complications from other problems, it would never heal. This meant that she had to be in bed in constant traction in order to lessen the pain as much as possible.
Alan remembered one day that his mother had been depressed and had asked him to come over and talk to her. She wanted to know what she could do so that she wouldn't be depressed.
Even though she was in pain she wanted to be happy. Alan didn't know what to tell her, so he said that he would fast and pray about it and talk to her again the next Sunday.
The answer that Alan received shocked him, and he didn't know how he was going to tell his mother. When Sunday arrived, Alan sat down with his mother and told her that she was being too selfish and only thinking of herself.
What she needed to do, if she was going to be happy, was to quit worrying about her problems and start helping other people.
She asked Alan how she could help others when she was in bed 24 hours a day. Alan really didn't know the answer to that problem and told her that he had given her the solution but it was up to her to figure out how to do it.
Now Alan remembered how his mother had responded to the Lord's answer and had filled her life with service for others. Alan's father would bring her the ingredients and she would prepare meals lying flat on her back in bed. She put up fruit and Alan's dad cooked it.
She called volunteer agencies and found things that she could do to help others. She called people daily that were lonely and needed cheering up. She made gifts and had her husband deliver them. She taught a Primary class in her home, which was possible because she lived close to the chapel.
A few weeks after she started to serve others in this way, she grabbed Alan by the hand and thanked him with tears in her eyes for giving her the guidance she needed to be happy.
She told him that, at first, she wondered how she could do what the Lord had indicated. She then exercised her faith and said to herself, "If the Lord said I could do it, then I can do it," and she started looking for ways to serve. She told Alan how it had brought meaning and purpose back into her life.
And Alan thought about his father. He remembered the great love and devotion that he had shown as he had worked many extra hours to make his wife more comfortable. He had built a traction bed in the living room so she would not have to stay in the bedroom all of the time.
When that worked, he designed a portable traction bed so that she could spend time visiting and staying with the children, who were all adults by this time. He even ripped out the passenger seat in the car and built a traction bed in the car. When he went to the store or to the temple, he took his wife with him and she knitted in the car while he did the shopping or went through the temple.
Alan remembered how whirlpool baths seemed to lessen the pain for his mother and how his dad had made a whirlpool bath out of a large cattle trough because he could not afford to buy one.
Alan thought about what had happened as his dad had taken care of his beloved wife. Day by day, as he had demonstrated selfless, loving service, he had slowly but surely developed the attributes of kindness, patience, and charity.
Alan realized that his father had become a celestial person through serving his wife. Alan knew that his mother would have voluntarily suffered all that she had gone through for this one blessing alone.
Related Scriptures: Adversity: Rev. 2:10; Alma 26:27
Service: Matt. 10:39; Mosiah 2:17
From the book: Stories That Teach Gospel Principles, by Allan K. Burgess and Max H. Molgard.
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Personal experience shared by Ardeth Kapp, Keynote speaker, at Brighton Stake Women's Conference, March 16, 1996
(from notes taken by someone in attendance):
Sister Kapp's husband had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital in very critical condition. They were put in a room shared by a rough scruffy-looking older man with slurred speech, and tattoos all over; and she thought why did they have to put us with him, maybe I can just close the curtain between us.
In her upset condition and fear of losing her husband, she prayed mightily to her Father in Heaven to let him live. She said she couldn't believe it when the very strong impression came to her mind, "Reach out to others, and I will take care of you." Her concerns were for herself and her husband--it was not the time to be worrying about others. But the thought just kept coming back strongly to her mind. Who can I reach out to, she wondered. The old man.
Even though she had felt repulsion towards him, she went to him and asked if she could get him a drink of water or something and talked to him a bit. The man responded by ordering the nurse to bring a big easy chair from down the hall into the room. Then he told Sister Kapp to sit in the chair by her husband. The man no longer seemed to repulse her at all.
She fell asleep in the easy chair. When she awoke the next morning, the old man's bed was empty and when she asked about him, found that he had died during the night. She wished she had been able to do more for him and felt love towards him and hoped his passing had been eased by someone showing even a tiny bit of human kindness. Her husband was blessed to become well again.