An enterprising Elders Quorum president sent this ad:
ZION HOME TEACHING SERVICE:—"We care when you don't have time to"—
Home teaching getting you down?
Can't get that annoying Priesthood Leader off your back?
Home Teaching interfering with your TV and Golf?
WE CAN HELP! At ZIONS HOME TEACHING SERVICE we'll do your home teaching for you. For a small fee we will send two of our trained representatives to the homes of your families.
Basic Visit plus Spiritual Message.......$15.00
Birthday and anniversary cards in addition to the Basic visit and Spiritual Message........................$20.00
Is $20.00 too much to pay for peace of mind?
Call us at 1-800-752-2537
Because of heavy volume, an extra $15.00 will be added for services requested the last day of the month.
This was told at our stake conference:
A family told their home teacher: "We just love and appreciate you so much, that on the first day of each month we are going to bake you a cake!—it's up to you when you pick it up.
A home teacher is being visited by his Bishop. The bishop asks him how many times he visited his families.
"I visited them ten months out of last year."
"Well that's fantastic," said the bishop. "I think you rank as one of the top home teachers in our ward with numbers like that. But if I might ask, if you got ten months, why not all twelve?"
"Well," said the home teacher, "No one likes to be visited on Halloween and New Year's Eve..."
There was a good woman who died and went to heaven. When she got there, she got her visiting teaching list "100 sisters "!!!!! She just stared at it and finally said, "I can't visit this many sisters every month!"
St. Peter said, "well, I think you could do it, but if you'd rather not, you could go to the "other" place and see if you like it!" So she said, yes, she'd like to visit hades and see if things were any better for her there.
When she arrived in hades, she was given a royal welcome, and shortly thereafter she was given her visiting teaching assignment. Only THREE sisters!
She was very happy and thought she could visit all her ladies very easily. But, she asked Satan why she only had three sisters on her list when she was in hades, but 100 when she was in heaven.
He replied, "oh, we've got LOTS of visiting teachers here!"