Sunbeams

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Robert Armstrong, M.D.

Doctor: "Well, Mrs. Olsen, we've talked about your high blood pressure and your medications. Are you experiencing any particular stress in your life?"

Patient: "Oh, yes! It's the Sunbeams. They're driving me crazy.."

Doctor: (very surprised) "The sunbeams..."

Patient: "Yes. I've never had trouble with them before, but this group won't sit still. They bounce all over the room, and run out the door and down the hall."

Doctor: (Reaching for his pen) "Have you told anyone about this?"

Patient: "Of course. I told the president."

Doctor: "Really! What did the president say?"

Patient: "He said Sunbeams are like that and just to have patience."

Doctor: (Concerned that he may be missing something) "I know people who are sensitive to sunbeams. Do they cause a rash or anything?"

Patient: (Confused) "A rash? No."

Doctor: "What's the biggest problem they're creating?"

Patient: "It's the noise. They just won't quit talking."

Doctor: (Astonished) "The sunbeams are talking to you?"

Patient: "Well, yes. But mostly to each other."

Doctor: (Scribbling furiously in the chart) "I see. Can anyone else hear them talking?"

Patient: (After a moment of stunned silence) "You're not LDS, are you?"