Twelve Signs of a Batterer

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1. Jealousy

2. They blame others, including you, for their faults. "You made me lose my temper".

3. They blame circumstances for their problems. "If only I had a job, I wouldn't be so upset."

4. Their behavior is unpredictable.

5. They belittle you verbally.

6. They cannot control their anger.

7. They always ask for a second chance.

8. They say they'll change, they won't do it again.

9. Their family resolves their problems with violence.

10.  They are closed minded. Their way is the only way.

11. They play on your guilt. "If you loved me you would------."

12. Their behavior often worsens if they use alcohol or drugs.

Excerpt From Ann Landers' Column on Batterers:

1. He comes on as a real charmer and loves you instantly.

2. He has problems with authority figures.

3. He embarrasses you in the presence of others.

4. He is nasty on the road--feels other drivers are competing with him.

5. He wants your undivided attention at all times.

6. You feel controlled because he must always be "in charge."

7. He has a dual personality--sometimes adult, other times childish.

8. He is very competitive--and he must always win.

9. His promises and apologies are meaningless.

10. He displays jealousy towards your close friends and family members.

11. He can't tolerate criticism and is always defending himself and trying to justify unacceptable behavior.

12. He has extreme highs and low--both unpredictable.

13. He is rough at times--love pats become more and more painful. Suddenly, you realize he is a serious abuser and you are a victim.